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  • Writer's pictureBecky Upchurch

Fear and What to Do About It!

If you ask me, fear is the root of everything we choose not to do and the motivation for every negative story we tell ourselves.

I can’t do that…

I don’t know how to…

What if I fail?

I lack the skill…

It won’t work…

I’m not good enough…

People will think…

Every one of these statements is rooted in fear.

I’m afraid I can’t.

I’m afraid to learn the hard way.

I’m afraid I’ll fail.

I’m afraid I’m not good enough.

I’m afraid of not getting the result I want.

I’m afraid to show who I truly am.

I’m afraid of other people’s judgments.

Sound familiar?

As human beings, it seems we are almost programmed to act out of a place of fear rather than one of ease and intuition. I find that this is ESPECIALLY true for women. We spend SO much of our time convincing ourselves what we can’t do and why we can’t do it that we forget to listen to OUR OWN VOICE. Because that “fear voice” ISN’T US. It is the external programming and input we’ve grown SO accustomed to that we let it control the majority of our decisions.

Think about it this way: If you child/spouse/loved one was in a life-or-death situation, would you act on instinct to help? Or would you stop, wait, and ask yourself “What if I can’t help? What if I don’t succeed?” OF COURSE you would just ACT. Your instincts would kick in, and you would act on them without even thinking. You would let your gut guide your action. THAT is the voice that is YOU, your gut. But too often we are taught to subdue our gut reactions to people, situations, and decisions. So often, in fact, that in most cases we don’t even know HOW to listen and let our gut guide us. Yet, in doing so is where the solution to handling our fear resides.

When I started Higher Good Coaching, I was terrified. And truth be told, most days I still am. I battle my “fear voice” daily, and you wouldn’t believe some of the conversations we have. (Let’s just say I can be quite the “what if?” queen when I let myself.) Yet when I am able to quiet that voice and tap into what my gut is saying, that is when I not only make the choices for my business that resonate most with who I truly am but also ones that I feel completely at peace making. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

So today I want to challenge you to rethink how you view fear. Rather than letting it serve as a force that shuts down your inner self, I want you to try looking at it as a barrier you can overcome just like any other. Here’s a suggestion for how to make that happen. When the “fear voice” gets started, I want you to try the following:

Ø Recognize and Name It (“Oh hi, fear voice, how’d I know you’d show up?”)

Ø Take a Deep Breath (Do this in and out through your nose to clear some space in your mind.)

Ø Ask What You REALLY Want (If that fear voice were silent, what would you hear your

GUT saying?)

Ø Decide How You Want to Act (What first step/next action do you want to take based

on what your gut has just told you?)

Ø Take the Step (Notice I didn’t say "take the leap" here! This can be a small step, but you

need to be sure you follow up your decision with some type of decisive action.)

My hope for you is that by following these steps, you will see how empowering it feels to step away from fear and embrace the power of your “inner voice.” Then, over time, as you learn to tap into and TRUST your gut, you will see how it can help you move beyond the “fear voice” that used to dictate your choices and instead allow you to make decisions for yourself with ease, knowing they are in alignment with who YOU are, what YOU believe, and what YOU value rather than allowing your choices to be dictated by external factors that aren’t aligned to who you are at your core.

So the next time your "fear voice" crops up, give this a try and let me know how it works for you. I always welcome connecting with you, so just email me at

Learn to tap into your inner voice.

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