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  • Writer's pictureBecky Upchurch

How Are You Honoring YOUR Values

When I first started my business, I had NO idea what I was doing. In fact, most days, I still feel like I don’t! You see, I didn’t start a coaching business to be a business-owner; I started it to be a coach….and those are VERY different things. And certainly I can (and must) do both in order to run a successful business…but the business part will never be where my passion lies.

So since my expertise was the coaching and not the business-owning, I of course sought out advice, guidance, insight, knowledge, etc. to help me manage my business. And I found some great advice and connected with some very successful business owners. And for that, I am super-grateful.

But I also found myself going down quite a few rabbit holes…because I was trying to follow advice from successful people…but I didn’t stop to really define what success was going to look like for me! And the more I tried to pursue and measure success by other people’s definitions? The more “icky” I felt and the more I felt like “This will never work!” Because in my efforts to do things the “right” way, I had lost sight of the power in doing things MY way.

And yes, having to do things my way is in part stubbornness and something I need to let go of to a degree. But it is also part me recognizing and honoring one of my core values….that I need to make choices and engage in behaviors that feel true to who I am, regardless of other people’s opinions. So as soon as I realized that I had not been doing that, I was able to pivot and see the big picture much more clearly. Because OF COURSE I could learn and grow from hearing the wisdom and experience of others. But I can ONLY successfully implement the wisdom gained if I do it in a way that feels aligned to WHO I AM AND WHO I WANT TO BE.

You see, one of the BEST ways to insure we are growing in ways that serve us and that will bring us the happiness we seek is to make sure our goals and dreams are aligned to who we are and what we value. And while this seems like an easy thing to do, I know from my own experience that it can be easy to get caught up in other people’s advice and perspectives…particularly if those giving the information are people you respect or admire or who have demonstrated success in an area you may be working on.

The thing is…pathways to success are infinite. So just because someone took a path that led to the kind of results you want to see doesn’t mean YOU must take that path as well. There are MANY ways to achieve the same goal. In fact, I’ve found that when I try to do things a certain way because someone else did it? It usually doesn’t happen!

So if you want to see success in YOUR life, you need to have a clear awareness of YOUR values. By knowing what will feel right for you and what actions will resonate for you, you are better able to discover what is going to WORK for you! For example, if someone tells you to visualize success but every time you try you see nothing and feel like a failure? I’d suggest trying a different strategy or tweaking what you’re doing to better fit who YOU are. Someone gives you a template for how to do something, but every time you follow it you feel like you get confused or your efforts result in a flop? Look at what parts of it were successful AND felt good/in alignment to you, then focus on growing those areas and filling in any gaps.

So let’s look at an example…

I was working with a client who wanted to explore some next steps in a new business venture. Having owned a business before, she knew what needed to happen, and she wanted to focus on creating an action plan to get her where she wanted to go in a focused and realistic way given some of the demands on her time. It seemed like it was going to be a pretty straightforward call, but I noticed that during the call she had begun to talk about finding a new job. Because this seemed to be a disconnect with our stated objective (which is always something worth exploring on a coaching call), I dug into that a bit.

As it turns out, she DID want to pursue the new venture…eventually. But she knew what was needed for her to go all-in with a new business, and she wasn’t ready to do so. It wasn’t that the business wasn’t important…but she had other priorities that needed to take precedence. Once we were able to clarify what her core values were for the present moment, she was able to get clarity around exactly what she DID want, and from there we were able to create a clear action plan to go after it.

At the end of the day, I am a FIRM believer that what doesn’t resonate with you WILL NOT work for you. So the best way to achieve the results you want for your life? Design your actions in such a way that they get results…AND ARE ALIGNED TO WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU VALUE.

So if you’re reading this and thinking “I got this!” then my suggestion to you is to get started! But if you’re looking at this and feeling overwhelmed, unsure of where to begin, or like you need a life raft, don’t worry! Maybe you just need to talk it out and figure out where to go from here…and maybe I can help! Click here to access my calendar and schedule your free Clarity Call:

Don't underestimate the importance of honoring YOUR journey!

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