• Becky Upchurch

How Can I Avoid Self-Sabotage

I’m too tired.

I’m SO busy.

It’s too hard.


Do these sound familiar to you? If so, you may have taken on more than you can handle. OR…you might be sabotaging yourself without knowing it!


Most people who set goals start strong. They feel committed to change, and they are ready to take action. Yet all too often, this phase does not last, and the progress, momentum, and rhythm that started the year quickly begin to dissipate. When this happens, it can be easy to fall back into old patterns that no longer serve you or to create “reasons” why you can no longer achieve the goals you’ve set for yourself.


So if you find yourself beginning to engage in behaviors that sabotage your progress, what can you do?


Examine the cause of your resistance.

What fears, hesitations, or stories are getting in your way?


Explore alternatives.

How can you rewrite the narratives that are taking you AWAY from your goals in ways that help you move TOWARD them instead?


Revisit and revise your action plan if needed.

What adjustments can you make to your plan for achieving your goals that will help it to feel manageable to you when self-sabotaging thoughts arise?


Consider your resources.

Often we create plans for change that don’t fully take into account the resources we will need or what we have available to us. If our motivation starts to slip, that can be a great time to revisit the supports we need in order to set ourselves up for success.


Address negative self-talk.

Often we subconsciously sabotage our efforts through the negative narratives we create. The more we think unkind thoughts, the more they become our reality. The more we speak words of failure to ourselves, the more we start to view ourselves as failures. The more we identify as failures, the more we start behaving as if we are. Eventually, this causes us to give up on ourselves, which is the ultimate form of self-sabotage. Rather than giving into feelings of defeat when goals aren’t going our way or aren’t progressing as they should, we can reflect on the kind of friends we are being to ourselves and then take action to do better. We can choose to become the best friend and support system we need to help us meet our goals and become the people we want to be.


So tell me...what can YOU do today to turn your sabotaging behaviors into ones that support your goals?

What are you doing to turn sabotage into support?

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