• Becky Upchurch

Meeting New People

A theme that often comes up among women is the importance of their relationships with other women. Whether it’s fellow moms, colleagues, fellow business owners, neighbors, old friends from school, or some other group, the bonds that women form with other women are often what sustain them during periods of difficulty. Yet we often hear about the “mean girl” stereotype or the struggles women have had with other women as well. To me, this is such an interesting contrast, especially given how the bad experiences can get in the way of our developing those stronger connections. You see, our brains are wired to find what we seek. So if I’ve had a bad experience with a particular kind of woman or group of women, I may be looking for a similar outcome with the next person or group. BUT…if I stay open to the possibilities that are available, I might be surprised at how well things play out!

But I get it; making friends as an adult can come with challenges. After all, most grown-ups aren’t sitting in class with their potential new bestie every day, engaging with new people on the playground, or having play dates set up by their parents! The thing is, even though it’s not as simple as it once may have been, there are some shortcuts that you can use to help facilitate the process! First, consider who is already in your orbit. Is there a woman you see in your class at the gym every week? Take the chance to say hello and engage her in conversation! Next, pursue the things you’re passionate about and connect with those doing the same. Love reading? Join a book club? Into fitness? Consider a meetup group for working out! Finally, think about the kind of people you want in your life, then go find them! Want friends who are compassionate? Adventurous? Politically active? Scholarly? Where are those kinds of people spending their time? Why not go join them there?! At the end of the day, you CAN connect with people as an adult who resonate with you…you just need to go find them!


And yes, sometimes in order to create space for the new friends we want in our lives we need to be willing to give up other things…or people. And you know what?! There is NOTHING wrong with that! In fact, when we release the things and people that aren’t serving us, we create space for the things that will. So I’m curious…is there something that maybe you’ve been avoiding addressing (or someone!) that you know deep down inside you must let go of in order to create the legacy you are destined for? If so, what’s holding you back? Not sure? Let’s talk!



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