Have you ever struggled with saying no? Perhaps you’ve said yes when you REALLY didn’t want to. Or maybe you spent WAY more time than you should have coming up with an explanation for why you were saying no. In either case, I bet it would have been a game changer had you been reminded of one simple truth…
No is a complete sentence.
So often we feel like we “should” say yes…or we “should” WANT to say yes even when we really don’t. We feel guilty for even thinking about saying no…to an invitation, a request for a favor, or even a task that really doesn’t belong to us. So often, we say yes even when inside we’re screaming "NOOOOOO!"
Then there are the times when we say no…but we feel the need to add an explanation. “No because…” “I would, except…” I’m sorry, but I can’t; I…” WHY DO WE DO THIS???
Because we were never taught that no is a complete sentence!
Imagine how freeing it would be if an unenthusiastic yes could become a no thank you. Imagine how great it would feel if “I can’t because…” became a simple “Sorry, I can’t.” No excuses, no explanations, no need to seek approval…just a reclaiming of our ability to say no when we mean no and to do so unapologetically.
What a crazy concept, right?!
So WHY do we sometimes find ourselves SO incapable of saying no? The answer is simple really…
WE WANT PEOPLE TO LIKE US!
But if we’re saying yes when we really want to say no or feeling the need to explain ourselves for making choices about our own time, then are we REALLY allowing others to truly see us? Because yes, someone may like you because you said yes. Or they may believe that your no is given with regret when it’s actually covered in secret joy. But then are they really liking YOU, or are they liking the person you are PRETENDING to be?
And that’s the thing. Anyone worth having in your life…any connection worth pursuing…any relationship worth cultivating should be one that is a result of TRUE connection. And how can you create that if you are being less than authentic in your interactions? And what is it doing to your relationship with YOURSELF if you are not valuing your time and desires enough to simply say no when it is warranted?
So today my gift to you is a simple reminder:
No is a complete sentence.
You are not required to say yes to things you don’t want to, nor does a no ever require an explanation unless you CHOOSE to give one…and not because you feel like it’s required but because you TRULY want to share one.
