It’s my birthday month, which means it’s time to celebrate! But first, a story…
I lost my grandmother, who was my favorite person in all the world, the day before my 8th birthday. Her funeral was the day after. Needless to say, I spent MANY years not particularly thrilled with the idea of celebrating my birthday. Then a few years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to the idea of birthdays being an opportunity for “Favorite Things Day,” a time to see your favorite people, eat your favorite foods, visit your favorite places, watch your favorite shows or movies, etc. It was a concept I had never thought of but one that I have definitely come to embrace!
The thing is, what I have come to realize, particularly in recent years, is that waiting for “special” days in order to celebrate is a big mistake. This is especially true when it comes to celebrating ourselves. Think about it: how often do you celebrate the accomplishments of children, friends, partners, colleagues, and family? Now compare that to how often you celebrate yourself. I’m willing to bet that there’s a pretty obvious discrepancy.
I see women around me struggling with their goals all the time. And the thing is, when I look at these women and their approaches, I’m pretty sure there is a common denominator: They are trying to make changes from a place of judgment rather than one of love. Trying to get healthy? Doing so because you love your body and want to care for it is much more effective than punishing it for its flaws. Trying to grow a business or get a promotion? Looking at what you haven’t done yet isn’t getting you closer to the goal. Trying to find more time for the people you love? Guilting yourself about how brief the time you have feels isn’t going to help you enjoy it. So instead of picking yourself apart for who you are and the choices you’ve made, why not focus on who you want to be? Then celebrate how you ALREADY ARE that person…and all the ways you show up as her along the way!
Many of us grow up believing we need a reason to celebrate and love ourselves…our achievements, our appearance, our jobs, the accolades of others, etc. But what if we didn’t need a “reason?” What if we could wake up EVERY day confident in our own amazingness? Well, we CAN! You see, how we see ourselves actually has nothing to do with all those “reasons” we focus on; it’s about our PERSPECTIVE.
If I wake up every day thinking that I need to find evidence of why I’m good enough, worthy of celebration, etc.? Then I will spend that day seeking that evidence out, likely hustling for my worth in the process. But if I wake up every day confident in who I am and what I have to offer the world? Then I can focus on how I want to show up in the world for myself and others. So how do I make this shift? By focusing on how I think about myself…and purposefully choosing to think thoughts that build my confidence rather than ones that tear myself down. Not sure how to do that? Let me know; I’d love to chat about it!