• Becky Upchurch

Finding a Tribe

MANY of us grew up being taught that being independent is a great quality to have. While this can certainly be true, the message that many of us internalized along with this is that needing or wanting support, asking for help, etc. is a negative thing. The thing is, I’ve learned throughout my life that the opposite is true – when we collaborate, we can create AMAZING things!

Yet I feel like many women feel they’re alone in their struggle, like they don’t have anyone who TRULY understands them and can help them along their journey? But I promise you, this is not the case! No matter what you’re experiencing, I’d bet that someone else has been there with you or is there with you right now! The thing is, we don’t KNOW that unless we reach out to connect with others! “But Becky,” I hear you saying, “that can be scary, and making friends as an adult is hard!” Yes, it can be! But you know what else is scary and hard? Living your life feeling like you are always alone and that nobody has your back.

One of the things I ask my clients to do is to identify the people in their lives who can support them as they work to achieve the vision of what they want for themselves. In some cases, this yields a pretty solid list of supporters they can call upon for help. But in other instances, we discover that the client may not have a solid support system…or at least not one for that particular journey! For example, they might have a super-supportive partner with ZERO interest in exercise or fitness; that doesn’t help much when you’re looking for a gym buddy! Or they may be a fledgling business owner with tons of friends…but zero who know what it’s like to be an entrepreneur.

You see, it’s not enough to have A random tribe….you must have THE tribe you need to folly support the life you want. And if you don’t? Then the best time to start cultivating that is RIGHT NOW.

So if you are someone who does not feel like you’ve quite “found your tribe,” here are some top tips to help you:

  1. STOP seeking the approval of people and groups who aren’t your people.

You KNOW in your gut that they aren’t your people, so why are you wasting precious (and limited!) time and energy trying to pretend they are?!

  1. Show up as yourself, no matter the situation.

The right people will be drawn to you, but only if you let them see you. If you have 5 different personalities for 5 different situations, how will they know who you really are?!

  1. Do things that bring you joy.

Want to find the people who are the best fit for you? They’re likely out doing the things you love…and you should be too!


Not sure what exactly this looks like for you and your life? Let’s chat😊



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