I used to feel bad anytime I would compare myself to others, as I wanted to feel joy for those around me, and comparison just didn’t feel joyful to me. And the more I would shame myself for the feelings of comparison that would crop up, the worse I would feel. The thing is, every time a twinge of comparison would pop up, I knew it was coming from a pace of insecurity...and I used it to beat myself up!
Now that I see it more clearly for what it is, I understand that it is a normal human response and not one I need to be ashamed of. After all, we can’t always choose the thoughts that pop into our minds...but we CAN choose what to do with them! The key to making comparison work FOR you is to use it as a tool to help you learn about yourself...what you want, where you have space to grow, and where you might want to focus your time and energy.
It’s a great goal to want to eliminate comparison from our lives, but sometimes it happens before we’re even fully aware it’s happening. Next time that happens, instead of beating yourself up, I’d like for you to try a different strategy! Instead of focusing on what you lack in comparison to the other person, ask yourself what you can LEARN.
Comparing your life to a friend? What does that tell you about what you want to cultivate more of in your life?
Comparing yourself to a colleague? What positive qualities do you see in that person that you want to develop in yourself?
Comparison is often inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing! How can you put it to good use in your life?
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